House music up

House lights up

Announcement: 'we're going to have a 10-15 minute intermission; please enjoy the food out in the foyer. Please take your things with you as we're going to reconfigure the theater. We'll open it again in a few minutes.'

Audience leaves.

We remove stage, reconfigure chairs.

Set out Bogdan's chair and newspaper, and Antonia's stool and bag of Funyuns.

Re-open theater.

We make a 'five minute' warning call.

When the audience is back, we bring down house music and bring up the lights.

Antonia & Bogdan enter and give their combined scene of reflection.

Lights fade out.

Birds Keynote presentation begins, with first video.

SCREENS: first video

Fly like an Eagle

News graphic

Elibet (as anchorwoman): Scores of world leaders today renewed their urgent calls for restraint, pleading with all sides involved to step back from the brink and to resume high-level negotiations. Meanwhile, tensions only seemed to mount as Cloudcukooland president and dictator Peter Tyrus (picture of Peter Tyrus here) issued an executive order Wednesday that will further extend construction on the network of giant screens the Avian Nation has used to interfere with the transmission of solar radiation to Earth. (graphic here—globe surrounded by screens and birds). According to recent estimates by NASA, in just under six months the Birds have been able to construct a network of screens capable of absorbing more than 85% of the sunlight that usually reaches the planet’s surface (perhaps the figure 85% appears on the graphic). This is Cloudcuckooland spokesman and chief negotiator Hugh Elpides:

(low quality, he’s dressed in standard hippie gear, but he has an obviously fake beak and wings, many microphones in his face, perhaps a backdrop of some sort, the sounds of camera clicks in the background) Elpides: Look, man, this isn’t a security crisis or whatever, at all. What this is is like a strictly economic situation. And economics is just about managing resources, alright, and the sun is, like, mother Earth’s most important resource. You know, if it makes sense that humans control the oil under the ground where they live, then why doesn’t it make sense that, like, the Birds should control the light in the sky? I mean, it’s the sky, man. It’s like—they live up here. We humans have been in the driver’s seat for so long now we think we’re always number one. Well you better get used to something: it’s the Birds’ turn, man.

Tony Blair, envoy to Cloudcuckooland from the coalition of the eight nuclear nations—the so-called Nuclear octet—issued harsh criticism of the proposed construction, and said that when it came to dealing with the giant screens all options were on the table.

(still image of Blair’s head with a title and a voiceover, not totally terrible British accent) Blair: This move to extend the coverage of the screens cannot stand. And yes, of course, when I say ‘all options are on the table’ I mean we will not hesitate to nuke the Birds and their illegal giant screens back into the age of their dinosaur ancestors. If President Tyrus and the Ministers of Cloudcuckooland believe that, when it comes to the question of our sunlight, we will not stand up for our basic human rights, then they are sadly mistaken. We are not, I repeat not, a bunch of chickens. It is they, I say, they who are the chickens.

Since the initial phase of construction on the screens began six months ago, the Avian Nation of Cloudcuckooland has generated a whooping $5.2 trillion in revenue from its sunlight transmission tax. The tax has been widely condemned by the vast majority of terrestrial industrialized nations.

In December President Bush announced the formation of an executive task force to look into solutions to what has been dubbed the Bird-Initiated Ray Deviation crisis—or the B.I.R.D. crisis, for short. (get a graphic for this) The administration’s initial strategy for coping with the burden of the tax by shifting responsibility for its payment from the federal level to the state level has drawn sharp criticism from social justice groups, who fear another Katrina-style catastrophe, whereby poorer, minority regions that cannot afford to pay are effectively blotted out of existence. President Bush responded to continued criticism:

Bush: This is a new kind of world we’re living in, with a new kind of enemy, and we need to at least consider all our options. Look, let’s not forget who’s to blame here. It’s not the federal government. It’s a big, evil flock of birds that don’t like the way we live down here. ...so we don't have to fight them here, on American ground.

Today the Associated Press is reporting that just last week the President was briefed by task force chairman Fred Ema on the viability of a unilateral tactical nuclear strike, which would see the United States acting independently of the Nuclear octet and sending a pair of 50 megaton devices into the lower atmosphere in an effort to destroy the half-dozen or so giant screens responsible for intercepting the majority of sunlight bound for the US.

When asked last week about the possibility of a nuclear attack, Cloudcuckooland President Peter Tyrus commented that the rhetoric was quote “the sign of a total birdbrain.” He went on to say: “We don’t want to kill anybody, man, so just chill out. We just want the Birds to get what’s rightfully theirs. It’s not like the US can’t afford it, so just pay up.”

Now for a look at sports here’s Chet Chesterton.

Music on the video begins to play--American Ruse, MC5

Bogdan and Antonia enter and begin their actions--B reading newspaper, A doing yoga and eating Funyuns.

Music on video ends. Automated Keynote progression to next slides, "San Francisco..." "Six months earlier..."

Lights up. They contine their actions for a few more seconds and then begin.

Hugh: America these days, Peter--this country's going to the birds. I mean, where did all the hope go? Iraq's a total quagmire; people are treating the Earth like dirt; and people are too busy buyin' their I-phones to care. What happened to the message of the message of the '60s.

Peter: You know what, Hugh, it's all about consciousness. Like that guy's got his consciousness, and someone else has got theirs, but there's no communication, no vibes.

Hugh: Yeah man, I could do without a lot of this fat American ignorance and consumerism.

Peter: Dude we're out of Funyuns!

Peter: Alright, that settles it. We’re goin’ to Canada!

Hugh: Alright! Road trip, yeah! I’ll gas up the old microbus.

Peter: The microbus?! Didn't you watch the LIVE EARTH festival for like sixteen hours? What was that to you, man, just a big overexposed rock concert? What about the message, man? What about Madonna’s ‘avalanche of awareness’? What about La Isla Bonita? That microbus is a gas guzzler, we can’t drive that. Dude, let’s just drive the Prius.

Hugh: Oh, man (groans); but we look like such squares in the Prius!

Peter: Yeah, sad but true. (pause) Hey, I got it! Why don’t we just walk to Canada, man?

Hugh: Walk to Canada? I can’t walk to Canada, man, I’m almost sixty-three years old—the warranty on this old jalopy ran out a long time ago. Besides, you can’t just walk across the border. What about the fences, the watch towers, the Minuteman Mounty Militias?

Peter: No way, man; there’s nothing like that up there. It’s just three thousand miles of totally unprotected border. It’s like a secret exit, my friend! Nobody knows about it!

Hugh: Nobody? doubtful or intrigued

Peter: At least not Homeland Security. Let’s make sure we get across before they figure it out!

MUSIC: Truckin'--Grateful Dead. The music needs to come up when Antonia begins her last sentence.

ADVANCE SCREENS--San Francisco.

Antonia and Bogdan begin to walk quickly back and forth around the stage, as if they were walking to Canada. Then when they reach the first screen...

ADVANCE SCREENS--OREGON. Then when they reacon the next screen...

ADVANCE SCREENS--Seattle. Then when the reach the next screen...

ADVANCE SCREENS--Celine Dion and Mounty.

When they stop walking, FADE MUSIC OUT (and when it's faded, stop track and then SET THE VOLUME BACK TO FULL for next music (Fanfare). When dialogue begins, ADVANCE SCREEN to black.

Hugh: (out of breath) Man, I’m pretty tired.

Peter: We made it to Canada man, but we're in the middle of nowhere. We gotta keep going.

Hugh: I’m done. I’m sitting.

Peter: Fine, man. Alright. Your body’s speaking, yeah. I’ll respect that. (pause) You want some chow?

(Hugh snores. Peter laughs and goes to sleep.)

LIGHTS GO OUT.

ADVANCE SCREENS: video of Kelena as Epops.

Epops: O, travelers, seekers of peace,

The sun will rise,

The prophets will come.

You will receive two spirit guides to lead you,

Listen to their wisdom, follow their unerring guidance.

At travels’ end,

Destination met,

You will find the Epops who was once human,

There your dreams will be realized.

(video fades to black, and then has the sound of birds chirping.)

LIGHTS UP as sound of birds chirping is heard.

Hugh: Man, I just had...

Peter: ...the weirdest dream.

Hugh: You too? That bird…?

Peter: Did he say, spirit guides?

THROW RUBBER CHICKENS. matt and corby make bird noises from above.

Hugh: Hey little bird friend.

Peter: Spirit guides, huh? So how does this work? (Hugh thinks, gives a large shrug, completely at a loss.) I guess let’s just close our eyes and move where our spirits are drawn.

(Close eyes, start walking, bump into each other.)

Hugh: Which way, man?

(There is the sound of a chicken clucking every once in a while, which is a signal to A and B to change direction. These will come from Matt and Corby above stage. There are two or three of these before Bogdan bumps into the wall.)

Peter: That way!

Hugh: Yeah, I’m really feeling this. I think we’re getting some…Ow! Aw man, these birds are useless.

(SOUND: Birds start cawing. Epops appears, stage left, just her head)

Epops: Why, hello. You found the place.

Peter: You were expecting us?

Epops: No. Maybe.

FANFARE MUSIC. Epops fully emerging in all her glory.

Epops: I am the great Epops! I was human like you, once, but... Welcome to…my home. Who are you? But then again, I welcome all friendly travelers. How may I help you?

Peter: We’re looking for a place of peace. (Epops expresses interest. “Mmm”) A place where men, such as ourselves, can live free and easy.

Hugh: Yeah, no money, no government, no bother. (Epops makes noises of interest. “Mmm”)

Peter: I could really groove in place where the only trouble is having too many friends to spend time with.

Hugh: A place where all the groovy chicks dig me, and I dig them.

Peter: Oh wise, powerful Epops bird-lady, tell us, with your bird’s eye view, where such a place exists.

Epops: Let’s see. A place of peace, where the chicks dig you, anti-government. Have you considered Berkeley? No, you seem like intelligent fellows. I wouldn't send you to Berkeley. A place with no money, no burdens, a place with an endless supply of…

Hugh: Yeah…

Epops: Food and love.

Hugh: That too.

Epops: Ah! I know of just the place! In fact, I live in just the place.

Peter: Canada?

Epops: No, no. Amongst us birds. (Peter and Hugh look up.)

Peter: Let me get this straight. You’re saying that we, two men, should live with you birds?

(Flamingo rounds corner, overhears and freaks out.)

Flamingo: Polo! Polo! Men? Living among us birds?

Hugh: Hey, relax man, we're all about peace--

F: Impossible! Polo! There is absolutely no way men can live here with us!

E: On your way to the baths, Flamingo? Well, don't bother your pretty pink head, this doesn't concern you.

F: Don't you patronize me, you half-breed!

E: Never! If you must stay, that's fine, but don't sound the alarm and frighten the other birds!

F: I overheard your dastardly plan to integrate these humans among the bird population.

E: It's completely possible--remember, I was once human--

F: Well.... we made an exception in your case. To have all these people coming and taking good bird jobs... it's, well... it's just un-birdlike!

H: C'mon, man, we're all about love.

F: Don't come near me! Dirty dirty human! Polo! Polo! Sound the alarm! Swarm! Swarm!

(SOUND: Birds screeching): in rounds: KILL THE HUMANS, PECK THEIR EYES, PROD THEIR SOFT PARTS!

Hugh: What's goin' on, man?

Peter: Dude, they're freakin out!

E: Come come, be reasonable. These men pose no threat.

F: Threat!? Men are our sworn enemies! They hunt us, pollute our air, they leave traps for us! Think about Henry who got stuck in a plastic six-pack ring! I'm so sorry Henry! Attack!

E: Wait, wait! But think of all we can learn from our enemies.

F: What can you possibly learn from an enemy?

E: Well, the Americans learned about sushi from Japan, and the Europeans learned about gunpowder from China?

F: Birds don't care about those things! Go for the eyes! Go for the soft parts!

H: What are we going to do? Think of something...

P: Um.... Umm... we can give you money? (Chorus grumbles in dissent - 'no money, we don't want money, arggh')

P: We can give you bird seed?

F: GO FOR THE EYES!

P: We can make you kings!

F: Kings?

H: Yeah, kings.

F: Kings?

P: Kings... oh, yeah, um kings.... yeah, I've got a foolproof strategy to make you kings of the world! But first you have to promise there will be no more pecking, biting, or prodding in the -

H: The soft parts!

P: My eyes.

F: Ok, I promise. But what's the plan? You have thirty seconds (birds growl)

Ch: Plans? Ouack, plans?

P: Right, right, we can make you kings.

H: In the past, you were like royalty...

P: Yeah, the Egyptian god Horace was a falcon!

H: And Athena had an owl!

P: And Prince had his Doves' cry!

F: Kings of the past?

P: You used to be kings and now you're worse than slaves! People keep you in cages, man! (Chorus grumbles)

H: But there are still so many remnants of your past glory. What about all the sports teams that honor you? The Baltimore Orioles? (Chorus clucks in approval)

P: The Cardinals! (Chorus, even louder)

H: The Falcons!

P: And even more than that, the United States itself has an eagle on its Great Seal! (Chorus grumbles) Wouldn't you like to get that power back? So... our plan (Chorus: yes, what's your plan)

H: is to build...

P: big, giant....

H: in the sky....

P: big giant, um,

H: ...screens in the sky.

F: Screens in the sky?

H: If you can control the sunlight, you can control the world!

P: You'll have all humankind in the palm of your... wings!

F: And then they would respect us again?

H: Yeah, totally.

E: Quite true, actually. The humans worship sunlight even more than they worship celebrities.

P: Yeah man. If you control the sunlight and the humans need the sun, then you can, like, make them pay for it.

H: Yeah, tax them on it.

F: Tax, them? But what do we need with money?

P: It's not about the money, man. It's about the power!

F: Hmm, big screens.

H: Big screens.

P: Big screens.

E: Big screens, big screens!

Ryan: (coming forward) Big screens big screens, big screens big screens big screens. Check it out!

MUSIC: My Humps instrumental version.

Maya: What you gonna do with all those screens, all those screens up in the sky?

P: I'm 'a block block block block the light

H: Block the light out of the sky.

(P & H) Big screens, big screens, / big screens, big screens, big screens

(everyone begins to do bigger bird dance--step step with chicken wing flap) Big screens, big screens, big screens, / big screens, big screens, big screens Check it out!

(first pair congas out and then begin alternation)

Jason: We'll drive those humans crazy,
Tax them on the daily,

Meghna: We'll teach them to respect us,
And show them we mean business.

Sonya: San Francisco, Oakland,
and all the way to London,

Brett: Tok-ee-o and Moscow,
Nairobi down to Cape Town.

Kelena: If they want their sunlight
they'll have to get the price right

Hugh: Presidents and Crown Princes

Peter: they'll object but they'll keep givin

(Al + Hugh) So we keep on screenin,
and no, you aint dreamin,

(Matt + Peter) so if you want a sun tan
you betta pay the taxman

SCREEN: On both screens appears the text "BIG SCREENS" Toggle as you will.

(everyone) my screens my screens (Al and Matt and Corby: Screeeeeeeens) my screens my screens, my screens my screens... (my screens they got you)

(everyone) we've got their sunlight...taking all the sunlight from ya, and castin' shadows on ya.

we've got the sunlight...taking all the sunlight from ya, it's gettin cold, oh ya.

SONG CONTINUES. Bogdan and Antonia then come out and say a final "Big screens!"

LIGHTS GO OUT but music continues for a moment.

ADVANCE KEYNOTE one frame to black.

FADE OUT My Humps.

ADVANCE Keynote to SECOND NEWS VIDEO. (Bob Marley will play quickly)

Antonia and Bogdan will enter when they hear the drum music at the end of the second video.

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to CLOUDS image.

SCENE 2

(Peter and Hugh come on stage dressed in ridiculous bird costumes. Both start laughing.)

H: Man, I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing you in a bird outfit. You look a bit ruffled this morning.

P:Well, thank you very much (sarcastic). You look like you're in the middle of a molt.

E: Friends, you make lovely birds and your strategy with the giant screens has really taken flight. You have been such good birds that all the other members of our community have decided to elect you president and you chief advisor.

MUSIC: HAIL TO THE CHIEF as the Bird chorus enters with Cloudcuckooland signs and jingoistic gusto, bringing also a table and chairs for the new President and Chief Advisor.

FADE MUSIC OUT as everyone gets settled.

Epops: And all the birds are flocking to this new bird sanctuary. Have you thought about giving it a name?

P: A name...?

H: Right. Details. How about New Frisco?

P: No man, only idiots say "Frisco". We need something totally new!

E: Mmm, mmm. What about Epopsalopolis?

P: Uhhh. No. Why don't we call it Cloud City?

H: No, man, that's from Star Wars. Why not, Cloud...

Jason: Cuckoo!

H: Land? Cloud...

Jason: Cuckoo!

H: Land! Alright, fine: Cloudcuckooland!

P: Yes! Cloudcuckooland. I declare this bird haven officially Cloudcuckooland!!

BIRDS APPLAUD.

E: Good work, guys! Cloudcuckooland's a city with a future!

(First visitor enters. The televangelist.)

T: Praise the Lord! I bless this here Cloudcuckooland and all of its children in the name of the Lord.

P: Whoa, what are you talking about? We just named this place five seconds ago. How can you bless us already? How do even know about us.

T: God sees all, son. But anyways, everyone's talking about the new bird kingdom! It's never too early to start converting.

H: We don't need religion here, man. Love and peace is enough.

T: That's right, son. You don't need any "generic" religion. What you need is some good old Christianity. Have faith in Jesus and Jesus will provide tranquility and goodness to all birds and bird-children. I too will provide. I got bibles here: 3 for 10, 10 for 50. Already got Bibles? Well, you can always use some holy water birdbaths, which I happen to have for just $50

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to HOLY WATER BIRD BATHS.

H: Alright, I think we've seen enough...

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to CLOUD image.

T: Wait, wait! There's more: recall ye Mathew 29.99, where the good book says: he cammeth unto the swallows, and they receivethed him with open wings, and Jesus said pave me a runway unto your souls, for the private jet of my humle servant!

P: C'mon, man... (Hugh approaches, starts to drag the Televangelist offstage, but is interrupted:)

T: Wait, wait! Behold the power of Jesus, the healing power of the Lord--(touches bird with sling). You birds with your wings are closest to the angels. (Bird chorus responds with clasped hands in prayer). Accept God into your fluttering hearts--and buy my book!

P: (To H.) You want to show him the exit.

T: Rosaries! Five for $15! (Exits.)

H: What a quack!

(Marketing executive enters. Slick.)

M: Hey there, great to meet ya, great to meet ya—Folks, I’m here to make you all filthy, filthy rich! Cloudcuckooland is a land of opportunity. You’ve got these big screens—well, don’t forget, screens have two sides! One blocks out the sun. But I look at these big screens, and what do I see? – Ad space! Big, blank, beautiful white ad space! Now, I’ve been talking to some of the guys in R&D and they have come up with some great ideas. These have all had great product runs and you’re gonna love ‘em. From Apple, we've got the iBird—popular among the chick population!

ADVANCE KEYNOTE TO iBird image.

M: And if you want to coordinate your family, how bout the new iFlown?

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to iFlown image. (crowd reaction)

M: A great new running shoe? Consider Nike Air. Swoosh!

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to Nike Air swoosh image.

P: No way, man. No one's gonna touch my screens!

H: We don’t need all these products, man, that’s what we’re trying to get away from.

P: That'll be all.

M: Wait, wait! What about Cuckoo-cola!

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to Cuckoo-cola image.

P: That will be all.

M: Keep your bird population caffeinated with Cawbucks!

ADVANCE KEYNOTE To Cawbucks.

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to Clouds.

(Oil exec. enters.)

Oil guy: Gentlemen, I just want to thank you on behalf of ExxonMobil, Texaco, and Citgo! Please accept this golden wing as a token of our appreciation.

P: Uhhh, thanks…

H: For what exactly?

Oil: Because of your big screens, solar energy has never been more scarce, and fossil fuels have never been so in demand! If you keep this screen business up, we’ll have our highest profits ever! What do you say we have a little deal, a contract of sorts? You keep the screens going, and we’ll give you a 10% cut of our profits. You’ll reap the benefits with us!

H: Whoa man, you've got it all wrong. We never wanted to help you! The pollution caused by fossil fuels ruins the environment and we want no part in that.

P: And anyway, I'm the president and I control these screens. I'm not going to be making alliances and profit sharing with anybody! And take your silly wing.

O: You're making a career decision. Just wait til...(Pushed off stage)

(Nerdy guy enters.)

P: What? Another one?

N: Um, hello. My name is Clemence McKerny. I was wondering if Cloudcuckooland may be interested in getting wired up...(Pause.) Hem, well. I have the ability to install Cloudcuckooland with the latest Wi-Fly Internest connection!

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to wi-fly internest connection image.

(Hugh and Peter look at each other and nod. Hugh starts pushing N. off stage.) It will be a breakthrough in modern technology! You will have access to many features to...

(Peter and Hugh come together and kick him out)

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to Clouds.

P: I'm glad that big nerd ran when he did because I was ready to cook his goose!

H: Cook his goose? I'm totally fed up with all of their profit making schemes too, but don't you think you're getting a little too worked up about this?

P: Hugh, you might not understand this, but when a man finds himself in a position of such immense power, he has to do whatever it takes to hold on to it!

H: What are you talking about, man? I thought we wanted to groove and be free?

P: Be free, man? You're so naive. Isn't the truly free man the man who seizes control of his own destiny! (crazy laugh--do it, Antonia!).

H: You're trippin' me out man. I don't know who you are anymore!

P: Don't trip, man. I've got it all under control. Let's go check on the construction of the screens! (They exit.)

LIGHTS FADE OUT.

ADVANCE KEYNOTE to third video (which begins with menacing music).

set is being changed, which involves putting food on the president's desk.

MUSIC comes up as actors take places. Three birds in the back. Antonia is pacing.

LIGHTS COME UP and MUSIC FADES OUT.

(Flamingo enters)

Flamingo: Mr. Tyrus, where should I put the fruit?

P: Place it over there (points).

(Hugh enters.)

H: What's all this, man?

P: (to Bird) And hurry it up. The president will be here any minute.

H: What's all this food for? I thought the president was coming to negotiate...

P: There will be no negotiating today.

MUSIC plays FANFARE SOLO again.

F: Hem, announcing the Embassy from the United States of America! President George W. Bush!

SMALL APPLAUSE FROM BIRDS.

G: Thank you, thank you.

F: Vice President Richard B. Cheney!

C: Grunt (swing gun). Grunt (swing gun).

F: And Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice!

SMALL APPLAUSE FROM BIRDS.

(Condi enters).

G: (shaking hands with various birds) Hello, yeah, nice to meet to you, nice to meet you. (To Peter) Why, Mr. Tyrus, it is such a pleasure to meet you. I just thank the good Lord above for this wonderful opportunity.

P: (extending his hand) Mr. President, so glad you could come.

G: My pleasure. Mr. Elpides, so glad to meet you.

H: (from chair, looks up, nonplussed, gestures hello)

C: (crossing to the president) Mr. President, I can't stress enough the importance of these negotiations. The interests of the American people are at stake. (Bush surveys food). Please, sir--try to remain focussed, no matter how many shiny objects and bright colors they throw at you.

G: Is that a fruit and cheese plate? They got those little wieners on toothpicks too -- I love those things.

P: (To Bush) Can I interest you in some food?

G: (Already stuffing his face, embarassed, but not really) Why, thank you --

C: Sir, please, remember, we're here to negotiate! Try'' to focus. Mr. Tyrus we're here to negotiate the peaceful removal of your screens from international air space.

P: Really? Unfortunately, that's not possible. But there's plenty of food to go around if you would all join me.

G: (Continues eating.) Aww man, this is awesome. But you got a point there, Stanford lady--sunlight is pretty important.

P: Sunlight is important. but why don't we set aside these boring negotiations aside and make you a deal.

C: I don't think we're willing to talk about any --

P: I have the ability, Mr. President, to offer you your own Sky Ranch, available whenever you so desire.

G: Ranch, huh?

H: Sky ranch?! (mumbles) You've got to be kidding...

P: (G. mumbles, not sure) But what's a vacation without food?! To go along with the ranch we will provide you with full, daily buffets comprised of the finest ingredients only a bird could find.

C: Mr. President, please! We have serious --

G: Quiet! I am the decider, and I will make the decisions! The deal these birds are offering is mighty appetizing! I say let's vote on this deal: you know my vote. Cheney?

V: (mumbles..., waves gun)

G: He votes yes, too! (C. starts to protest) And no recount this time! Alright--I'm tired of all this voting. I say, it's time to party!

MUSIC comes up with SURFIN' BIRD.

EVERYONE CHEERS AND POPS CONFETTI POPPERS and then dances around. BUSH GETS A BEAK AND BOA! Birds leave. Bush and Peter dance together. Condi and Hugh find each other and leave.

Everyone comes back for applause.

Everyone files out.

end